i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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