Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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