So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
