Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
