okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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