Got a toothbrush?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
