This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
