is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
