Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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