Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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