dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
