Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize