i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
