My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
