Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
