It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
