I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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