you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
