I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
