She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
