His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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