How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
