shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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