No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
