You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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