Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
