My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
