I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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