Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
