She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
where am i from again
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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