YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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