i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
