If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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