So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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