I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
