I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
