he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
