Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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