my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
