jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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