You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
