Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
