Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
