I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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