Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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