3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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