We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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