"it" just moved
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
