Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
