I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
