walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
