remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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