The maid of honor just puked.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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