I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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