mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
