just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
