He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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