There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize