Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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