Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize