why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
