From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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