we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
