can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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