I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
