Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
