You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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